Choosing Friends Wisely

Walking with the Wise in a World Full of Fools

Scripture References: Proverbs 27:19 – Proverbs 13:20

“A mirror reflects a man’s face, but what he is really like is shown by the kind of friends he chooses.”

“He who walks with wise men will be wise, but the companion of fools will be destroyed.”

Some Personal Reflection

As we return once more to the all-important subject of friendship, let me begin with a few questions. How would you describe a person who seems to have an abundance of friends? Over the years, I’ve written many devotionals on this very topic, and long ago I discovered from Scripture the key to having that abundance of meaningful friendships. Solomon gives us the answer in Proverbs 18:24: “A man who has friends must himself be friendly, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”

The wisest man who ever lived revealed the simple but profound truth that the secret to having many friends is to “show yourself friendly.” Take a moment to think about all the people you know. Have you noticed how those who are genuinely warm, kind, and gracious often seem to have more friends?

There is a clear connection between friendliness and friendship. When you display genuine kindness and grace as a part of who you are, others are naturally drawn to you. While this principle isn’t an ironclad guarantee—because Proverbs offer general truths, not absolute promises—it is a principle that proves true in most cases when lived out with sincerity.

As the years pass, have you found that friendships become even more precious? I certainly have. There seems to be a deep connection between the trials we endure and our increasing need for godly friends and encouragement. When we find ourselves walking through the valley of trouble—what John Bunyan so vividly called “the slough of despond”—the companionship of a faithful friend can be a lifeline.

I have often quoted Charles Spurgeon in these devotionals, but there is one statement of his on friendship that remains especially dear to my heart. He wrote, “Friendship is one of the sweetest joys of life. Many might have failed beneath the bitterness of their trial had they not found a friend.”

For nearly thirteen years now, I have seen that truth lived out in my own life. The Lord, in His sovereign wisdom, has permitted me to walk through an affliction uniquely suited to refine my faith. Yet I am convinced that this trial might have overcome me had it not been for the sustaining grace of God and the steadfast support of many of His children. Their prayers, kindness, and encouragement have been ongoing sources of strength and comfort. Christian fellowship has proven to be priceless to me—truly something I could not live without.

Introduction – The Company You Keep Shapes Your Character

There are few forces more powerful in shaping a person’s character than the company they keep. The old saying, “Show me your friends and I’ll show you your future,” holds profound truth, especially when seen through the lens of Scripture. Proverbs 27:19 reminds us that our friendships are a mirror into our hearts. The people we choose to walk with, confide in, and share our struggles with ultimately reveal the kind of person we are becoming.

In the book of Proverbs, Solomon continually returns to this theme. He understood that life is a path—one either leading toward wisdom or folly—and that those who travel beside us can either help us stay the course or lead us to destruction. Our companions reflect our values, our ambitions, and our deepest loyalties. Whether in the palace or the prison yard, this truth remains unchanging: who you walk with determines where you will end up.

Friendship is a gift from God, but it can also become a snare of Satan. The Apostle Paul warned, “Do not be deceived: evil company corrupts good habits” (1 Corinthians 15:33). The wise believer must therefore be discerning, evaluating every relationship not by appearances or emotions but by spiritual fruit. Who we spend time with will shape what we love, how we think, and even how we respond to God’s voice.

In a world that glorifies popularity over purity and influence over integrity, the call to choose friends wisely is more urgent than ever. Our culture celebrates “followers,” “likes,” and “connections,” yet true friendship is about far more than companionship—it’s about character. A real friend doesn’t simply stand beside you when times are easy; they walk through the valley with you, pointing your heart back toward Christ when the world pulls you astray.

Consider Jesus Himself. Though He loved the crowds, He chose twelve to walk closely with Him, and among those twelve, He drew even nearer to three—Peter, James, and John. Within that inner circle, He revealed His glory on the Mount of Transfiguration and shared His deepest anguish in Gethsemane. Jesus modeled for us what wise friendship looks like: selective, purposeful, and rooted in spiritual truth.

King David knew this as well. He surrounded himself with mighty men—warriors who were loyal, faithful, and God-fearing. Among them was Jonathan, whose friendship with David shines as one of Scripture’s purest examples of covenant love. In contrast, David’s son Amnon chose Jonadab, a cunning and deceitful companion, whose evil counsel led Amnon to sin grievously and to his destruction (2 Samuel 13). The difference between Jonathan and Jonadab is the difference between wisdom and ruin.

Every believer must learn this spiritual principle: your friends are either drawing you closer to the Lord or leading you away from Him. There is no neutral ground. As Charles Spurgeon once said, “A man is known by the company he shuns as well as by the company he keeps.” In other words, holiness demands separation from the ungodly just as much as fellowship with the godly.

Prison life makes this reality even more intense. In a place where trust is fragile and motives are often masked, choosing the right “they” can be a matter of spiritual survival. One bad influence can undo years of progress; one godly friend can help you stand strong when your faith is tested. It’s no wonder Solomon said, “The righteous should choose his friends carefully, for the way of the wicked leads them astray” (Proverbs 12:26).

The friends we walk with in this life shape not only our reputation but also our relationship with God. Wise friendship cultivates accountability, honesty, and grace. Foolish friendship breeds compromise, deceit, and destruction. The difference between the two can determine whether your walk with Christ thrives or fades.

Let us, then, examine our hearts and our circles. Who are the “they” in your life? Are they helping you grow in faith or feeding your flesh? Are they walking beside you on the narrow path or tempting you back to the broad road? Every believer must make this choice. To walk with the wise is to walk with Christ Himself. To walk with fools is to walk toward ruin.

This devotional will explore what it means to choose friends wisely and to walk with those who reflect the heart of God. We will look at four key qualities of godly friendship—toughness, honesty, encouragement, and yieldedness—and how each one shapes us for kingdom living.

1. Tough Friends: Committed Through Every Storm

True friendship is not built on convenience but on commitment. A friend who stands firm when others flee mirrors the very heart of Christ, who said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” In a world where loyalty is rare and betrayal common, tough friends are treasures.

When we speak of “toughness,” we do not mean harshness or aggression. We speak of spiritual resilience—the kind that refuses to abandon you when the road gets rough. Proverbs 17:17 declares, “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.” The best friends are those who remain steadfast through your trials, who pray with you when you cannot pray for yourself, and who keep you grounded in truth when the winds of emotion blow hard.

In the Bible, we see this kind of friendship between Jonathan and David. Though Jonathan’s father, King Saul, sought David’s life, Jonathan’s loyalty never wavered. He risked his own position, even his safety, to protect the man God had anointed. Jonathan’s love was covenantal—it was grounded not in what he could get from David, but in what he could give.

Contrast that with Judas Iscariot, who walked beside Jesus for three years, witnessed His miracles, and still betrayed Him for silver. Judas was a fair-weather friend, committed to Christ only as long as it suited him. When his greed outweighed his loyalty, he turned his back on the Savior.

In prison, you can quickly tell who’s tough and who’s not. Some friends are with you when you have something to offer, but when hardship comes, they vanish. The real ones are those who stay through the storms—those who help you fight temptation, stand with you when you’re misunderstood, and pray for your deliverance even when their own life is hard.

Charles Spurgeon once said, “True friends are rare as diamonds, precious and pure. False friends are plentiful as autumn leaves, easily blown by the wind.” A tough friend doesn’t just stand beside you; he strengthens you. He doesn’t feed your excuses; he challenges your character. He doesn’t flatter your flesh; he feeds your faith.

Commitment is the glue that holds true friendship together. Feelings fade, but commitment endures. A tough friend is one who pledges himself to you “no matter what.” They are the kind of person who says, “I’m with you,” and proves it through every season of life.

2. Honest Friends: Truth In Love

Honesty is the heartbeat of godly friendship. Without it, relationships become shallow and self-serving. Proverbs 27:6 declares, “Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.” A true friend loves you enough to tell you the truth even when it hurts. An enemy will flatter you into destruction; a real friend will wound you to heal you.

The Lord Jesus Himself modeled this kind of honesty. When Peter tried to prevent Him from going to the cross, Jesus said, “Get behind Me, Satan!” (Matthew 16:23). His rebuke wasn’t cruel; it was compassionate. Peter’s love was misguided, but Jesus’ correction was redemptive. That’s what honest friendship looks like—it confronts wrong motives, not to condemn but to restore.

Many people mistake honesty for harshness. But biblical honesty is always clothed in love. It speaks truth gently, humbly, and with tears if necessary. The Apostle Paul wrote to the Galatians, “Have I therefore become your enemy because I tell you the truth?” (Galatians 4:16). He knew that real love sometimes risks misunderstanding.

A true friend doesn’t just agree with you; they align you with God’s Word. They hold you accountable to live by the standards of Scripture, not the shifting sands of emotion or popular opinion. That’s why Proverbs 27:9 says, “Ointment and perfume delight the heart, and the sweetness of a man’s friend gives delight by hearty counsel.”

Think of Nathan the prophet. When King David sinned with Bathsheba and tried to hide it, Nathan confronted him with holy courage. He didn’t flatter David’s ego or excuse his sin—he said, “You are the man!” (2 Samuel 12:7). That single act of honesty saved David’s soul from destruction and restored his fellowship with God. Every believer needs a Nathan in their life—someone who loves them enough to speak truth even when it cuts deep.

Charles Spurgeon once said, “A friend who never rebukes you is an enemy in disguise. Better the blow of truth that humbles you than the kiss of flattery that ruins you.” Spurgeon knew that spiritual honesty produces holiness. Dishonesty breeds decay.

Inside prison walls, honesty can be dangerous, but it is vital. Many men live behind masks—hiding pain, fear, or shame. But honesty breaks those chains. When brothers in Christ choose transparency, walls fall, trust grows, and healing begins. The prison yard has enough lies; the Church behind bars must be built on truth.

A godly friend will tell you when your words are reckless, when your anger is destroying you, when your pride is blinding you. He doesn’t do it to shame you, but to save you. Proverbs 9:8 tells us, “Rebuke a wise man, and he will love you.” The fool rejects correction; the wise man embraces it.

Christ-centered honesty is always redemptive. It aims not to expose but to restore, not to humiliate but to heal. The greatest friend we have—Jesus—told us the whole truth about our sin and then laid down His life to redeem us from it. If He was honest enough to die for our sins, then we must be honest enough to confess them.

3. Encouraging Friends: Builders Of Hope

If toughness holds us steady and honesty keeps us pure, then encouragement keeps us going. Everyone needs someone who lifts their eyes when life drags them down. Hebrews 3:13 exhorts, “But exhort one another daily, while it is called ‘Today,’ lest any of you be hardened through the deceitfulness of sin.” Encouragement is not optional—it’s essential for spiritual survival.

Encouragement is more than kind words; it is godly reinforcement. It’s reminding a weary soul that God is still faithful. When Job lost everything, his so-called friends brought accusation instead of comfort. They analyzed instead of empathized. Their failure reminds us how devastating it is to encounter criticism when comfort is needed most.

In contrast, Barnabas in the New Testament earned his nickname, “Son of Encouragement.” When everyone else distrusted Saul of Tarsus after his conversion, Barnabas stood beside him, vouching for the genuineness of his faith. Later, when John Mark failed on the mission field, Barnabas gave him another chance. His encouragement helped shape a man who would one day write the Gospel of Mark.

Spurgeon once said, “No man can do me a truer kindness in this world than to pray for me.” Encouragement and intercession walk hand in hand. When you pray for someone, you’re lifting their burdens before the throne of grace. You’re declaring, “You’re not alone. God hasn’t forgotten you.”

In the darkness of prison life, encouragement is like sunlight breaking through concrete walls. It reminds men that hope is not dead and that grace still flows behind the bars. One letter, one word, one verse of Scripture shared at the right moment can keep another man from giving up. The world tears down; the Spirit builds up. Encouraging friends are builders of hope.

Encouragement doesn’t always come through speeches. Sometimes it’s a quiet presence, a simple “I understand,” or a reminder that Christ still reigns. The Apostle Paul found strength when others came alongside him in his suffering. He wrote, “God, who comforts the downcast, comforted us by the coming of Titus” (2 Corinthians 7:6). Sometimes God’s comfort comes wrapped in the arms of a friend.

Encouraging friends are those who see what God sees in you even when you don’t see it yourself. They don’t define you by your past but by God’s promise. They cheer you toward holiness, not happiness; faithfulness, not fame. Such friends breathe life into weary souls and remind us that even in prison, God still has a purpose.

4. Yielded Friends: Surrendered To God And Loyal To You

The final mark of a godly friend is yieldedness—a heart fully surrendered to God’s will and open to serve others. A yielded friend doesn’t manipulate or control; he follows Christ first and allows that submission to shape every relationship.

The Apostle Paul had such friends. When he wrote to Timothy from prison, he said, “At my first defense no one stood with me, but all forsook me. May it not be charged against them. But the Lord stood with me and strengthened me” (2 Timothy 4:16–17). Yet Paul also spoke of men like Onesiphorus, who “often refreshed me, and was not ashamed of my chain” (v.18). That’s a yielded friend—someone unashamed to stand beside you when everyone else disappears.

To be yielded means to live with your priorities in divine order. God first, others second, self last. A yielded friend is one who says, “Whatever God asks, I’ll obey. Whoever God calls me to serve, I’ll serve.” Such a person doesn’t flee when the heat rises; he stays because love compels him.

In the Old Testament, Ruth’s loyalty to Naomi displays this beautifully. When Naomi urged her to go back home, Ruth replied, “Where you go, I will go; and where you lodge, I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God, my God” (Ruth 1:16). That’s yieldedness—surrendering your plans for the sake of love and obedience.

Spurgeon wrote, “The friendship of the world is enmity with God; but the friendship of the godly is the next best thing to communion with God Himself.” Yielded friends help you commune with God more deeply because their lives point you back to Him.

In prison, a yielded friend will not compromise their convictions to fit in. They won’t gossip, cheat, or join rebellion. They’ll pray when others mock. They’ll remind you that Christ is your true freedom, even when you’re behind bars. Their surrender strengthens yours.

A yielded friend walks in humility, not pride. He doesn’t demand attention but gives it. He doesn’t seek applause but points glory to God. He’s not just in your corner—he’s in God’s. And because of that, you can trust him to stand with you faithfully.

Prison Application – Walking Wisely Behind Bars

Prison can be one of the hardest places to discern true friendship. Everyone wears a mask. Motives are mixed, and trust is fragile. Yet, it’s here that God calls you to be wise—to walk not by sight but by the Spirit. The people you associate with in prison will either build your faith or destroy it.

Choosing friends wisely behind bars begins with prayer. Ask God daily to reveal who belongs in your inner circle. Look for men who display the fruit of the Spirit—love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. If those qualities are missing, distance yourself in peace. You can love people without linking arms with them.

Beware of the manipulators, the gossipers, and the pretenders. Some will try to drag you back into old habits under the cover of “friendship.” But Proverbs 4:14 warns, “Do not enter the path of the wicked, and do not walk in the way of evil men.” Spiritual survival demands separation.

At the same time, don’t isolate yourself completely. Even Paul in prison sought fellowship. He wrote letters of encouragement, prayed for others, and asked for prayer in return. Build a circle of godly brothers who lift each other up, share Scripture, and pray together. These relationships will become your spiritual lifeline.

A good friend in prison will remind you of your worth in Christ when the system calls you a number. He’ll help you resist bitterness and walk in forgiveness. He’ll sit with you when your body aches and pray with you when depression darkens your cell. He’ll push you toward the cross when you want to give up.

And you must also be that kind of friend. You may not have much to give, but your prayers, your encouragement, your loyalty, and your honesty are priceless. God will use you to strengthen others just as He strengthens you.

Even behind bars, friendship can be holy ground. When two or three gather in Jesus’ name—even in a cell block—He is in their midst. That’s the kind of friendship that changes lives forever.

Final Thought – The Friend Who Sticks Closer Than A Brother

When all is said and done, every human friendship — no matter how faithful, how loving, or how loyal — will one day be tested. Some friends will fail us. Others will drift away with time. Some will turn against us when the cost of standing beside us grows too high. But there is one Friend who will never leave, never betray, and never forget — our Lord Jesus Christ. He is the Friend who sticks closer than a brother.

We often read Proverbs 18:24 quickly, but pause for a moment and think deeply about it: “There is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” This is not casual closeness — this is covenant closeness. A friend who “sticks” is one who clings, holds fast, and refuses to let go. In the Hebrew language, it paints the picture of being “glued together.” It is the same word used in Genesis 2:24, where a husband “cleaves” to his wife — unbreakable, enduring, bound in love. That’s what Jesus has done for us.

He has bound Himself to us in a covenant sealed by His own blood. When we fall, He lifts us. When we wander, He pursues. When we sin, He forgives. When we are chained, He walks through the prison gates of our hearts and sits beside us in the cell. As David wrote in Psalm 139:8, “If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there.” Even behind the razor wire and concrete walls, Christ is near.

The love of Jesus is not like the love of men. Earthly friends love what they can see; Christ loves what He can redeem. Human love grows weary; divine love grows deeper. Friends may run when your reputation collapses, but Jesus runs toward you. He did not wait for us to get clean before calling us His friends. Romans 5:8 says, “While we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.”

Think about that: the Holy Son of God willingly became the Friend of sinners. He ate with tax collectors. He touched the unclean. He wept with the grieving. He defended the adulterous woman when others picked up stones. He offered friendship not to the worthy but to the wounded. When He called His disciples “friends” in John 15:15, He was hours away from being abandoned by them all — yet still, He loved them to the end.

Charles Spurgeon once said, “Christ is the truest, dearest, choicest friend that a soul can have. He loved you when you were dead in sin; He will love you when you are glorified in heaven.” That truth transforms how we view all other relationships. It humbles us to know that every good friendship we have is just a faint echo of the greater friendship we have in Jesus.

When the world forgets your name, Christ remembers it. When the justice system defines you by your past, He defines you by His promise. When you sit in loneliness, He sits beside you. When you feel unseen, unheard, and unloved, His Spirit whispers, “I am with you always, even to the end of the age.”

Brother, there will be seasons when even your closest Christian friends may not understand your pain. There may be days when letters stop coming and when prayer partners move on. You might wonder if anyone still cares. But in those moments, remember — the truest Friend never stopped watching over you. He intercedes for you right now at the right hand of the Father. He prays for your endurance, your strength, your peace, and your faith.

The more you walk with Jesus, the more you become like Him — and the more your friendships will reflect His love. His friendship teaches us patience with the weak, forgiveness toward the guilty, and loyalty toward those society discards. A man who has experienced Christ’s faithful friendship becomes a friend of grace to others.

Think of how Jesus restored Peter. After Peter denied Him three times, Jesus didn’t cast him off. Instead, on the shore of Galilee, He cooked breakfast for His broken disciple and asked, “Do you love Me?” three times — one for each denial. He didn’t humiliate Peter; He healed him. That is what divine friendship looks like.

And in prison — where so many live surrounded by betrayal, fear, and abandonment — that same friendship becomes the anchor of hope. It means you are never truly alone, even when every door is locked and every friend is gone. Christ is the unseen companion walking the tier, the silent comforter in the midnight hour, the One who listens when nobody else will.

This truth should give every believer behind bars the courage to keep going. The same Christ who befriended sinners in Galilee still walks among sinners today. He loves without condition, forgives without limit, and restores without shame. You can talk to Him in whispers, cry to Him in pain, and call on Him in weakness — and He will be there.

Let this friendship redefine your relationships. Let it make you a friend to the friendless, a comforter to the broken, a voice of grace to the guilty. Be to others what Jesus has been to you. Pray for those who hurt you. Love those who slander you. Stand beside those who have no one else. That’s the power of Christlike friendship — it doesn’t depend on circumstances; it flows from the cross.

Someday, every faithful friendship forged in the fires of affliction will be reunited in glory. The bars will be gone. The walls will crumble. The chains will fall. And we will see the Friend who never left us, standing with open arms. Revelation 21:4 tells us, “He will wipe away every tear from their eyes.” That’s the end of all loneliness — eternal fellowship with the One who called us friend.

Until that day, walk closely with Him. Let His voice be the one that shapes your choices, His love the one that defines your worth, and His friendship the one that satisfies your heart. Every godly friendship in this life is a glimpse of that coming joy — but Christ is the fulfillment.

So if tonight you feel abandoned, remember this: Jesus has not forgotten you. The world may label you by your failures, but Jesus names you by His grace. Others may remember your crime, but He remembers the cross. He is the Friend who walks through locked doors, sits beside lonely men, and whispers, “Peace be with you.”

Stay close to Him. Trust His promises. Love others as He has loved you. And never forget — when all others fade, “Christ remains”.

Reflection Questions

1. What qualities do you value most in a friend, and do those align with the four godly traits discussed—toughness, honesty, encouragement, and yieldedness?

2. Who in your life right now strengthens your walk with Christ, and who weakens it?

3. How has God used honest correction from a friend to bring you closer to Him?

4. Are you an encourager, or do your words often discourage others?

5. What steps can you take this week to become a more faithful and yielded friend to others in prison?

6. How does remembering Jesus as the “Friend who sticks closer than a brother” shape your view of earthly friendship?

7. What friendships might God be calling you to let go of—or to deepen—in this season of your life?

   
   

Closing Prayer

Heavenly Father,
 We thank You for the gift of true friendship—friendships that lift us up when we fall and point us back to You when we stray.

Lord, in this place where loyalty is rare and trust is fragile, help every man reading these words to choose his friends wisely.

Surround him with brothers who are tough in faith, honest in truth, encouraging in spirit, and yielded to Your will.

Father, guard our hearts from ungodly influences. Teach us to love everyone but to walk closely only with those who walk with You.

Give us discernment when relationships feel confusing and courage to separate when necessary.

For every prisoner who feels alone tonight, remind him that Jesus is the Friend who never leaves nor forsakes.

Let Your presence fill the silence of every cell, bringing comfort, strength, and peace. Use friendships behind these walls to build Your kingdom—one conversation, one prayer, one act of grace at a time.

We commit our hearts, our relationships, and our futures to You. May our friendships reflect Your love until the day we stand face to face with our truest Friend, Jesus Christ, who loved us and gave Himself for us.

In His holy name we pray,


Amen.

From: Fight the Good Fight of Faith / Life Journal: by Gregg Harris